FW: O lny srmat poelpe can ra ed this.

More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge University . (Didn't try the spell checker!)

O lny srmat poelpe can ra ed this. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch atCmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wordare, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit aporbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, butthe word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?! Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling wasipmorantt! If you can raed th is psas it on !!

RE: Fw: Daddy's poem

(My 13 year old daughter passed this on to all her friends - and ours! Some thought I had written it, but no... and there was no name on the original mail, so...)

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?' she heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,' another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart
I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart'.

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he was a policeman and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mothers amazement, she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,' to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.


They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

FW: Lions will eat anything

And now for something different (with apologies to the Animal lovers amoung you)

A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

The first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't be best pleased, he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimpanzee house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? "Feed them to the lions", he says to himself, "because lions eat anything." He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked and stung by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage - because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says, "What's the food like here?" The other lion turns round and says....

"Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps and mushy bees"

FW: I'm not the only one then!

(Not sure who wrote this, but it could have been me! - Apart from the fact it's an American..)

For those of you that don't get this, you will! Your day is coming................................

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So,I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
- the car isn't washed
- the bills aren't paid
- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
- the flowers don't have enough water
- there is still only 1 check in my check book
- I can't find the remote
- I can't find my glasses
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

This'll make you think!

http://www.youtube.com/v/SmLhyPjHVes

Fw: Pay attention to the detail

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.

He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R, we missed the R".
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "After all these years..... the word was Celebrate ."

FW: What could happen if you type the wrong email address

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 yrs earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing the error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived
Date: October 16th, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!

FW: Eye Test

Test your eyes

Just count every "F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS
OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...











HOW MANY ...................... 3?











WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke. READ IT AGAIN !







Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before
you scroll down.







The reasoning behind is further down.








The brain cannot process "OF".


Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!


Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Subject: Fw: Church Bulletin Bloopers!

(Jokes that have been passed onto me)

**************************************

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

These sentences appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in church services:

* * * * * * * * *

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking
tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch
all the way from Africa.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

* * * * * * * * * *

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

* * * * * * * * * *

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday
at 8 PM in the recreation hall.
Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

* * * * * * * * *

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping
around the house.
Don't forget your husbands.

* * * * * * * * * *

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a conflict.

* * * * * * * * * *

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

* * * * * * * * * *

Don't let worry kill you off......let the Church help.

* * * * * * * * * *

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

* * * * * * * * * *

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
have a nursery downstairs.

* * * * * * * * * *

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

* * * * * * * * * *

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors
for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping.
She has requested tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

* * * * * * * * * *

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which
the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

* * * * * * * * * *

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October
24 in the church and so ends a friendship that began in their
school days.

* * * * * * * * * *

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall.
Music will follow.

* * * * * * * * *

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* * * * * * * * * *

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the
addition of several new members and to the deterioration
of some older ones.

* * * * * * * * * *

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items
to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* * * * * * * * * *

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person you want remembered.

* * * * * * * * * *

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave
a healthy lunch.

* * * * * * * * * *

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and gracious hostility.

* * * * * * * * * *

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and
medication to follow.

* * * * * * * * * *

The ladies of the Church have cast-off clothing of
every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

* * * * * * * * * *

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the
park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come
prepared to sin.

* * * * * * * * * *

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

* * * * * * * * * *

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet
Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.

* * * * * * * * * *

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* * * * * * * * * *

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new
tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

**********************************************

The absolute End!

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold?
He said, "Put all! Your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."
I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
Find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,"
My child, they're all here with me."
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go.

Joey Tan - Teluk Intan, Perak, Malaysia